Granny Has a New Boyfriend

Please Share

By Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, R.N., B.S.N., Attorney

When it comes to elders, most of us don’t think of romance. For some reason, our culture seems to entirely dismiss the concept that older people, divorced or widowed, might fall in love again. But they do. Ask anyone who works in a senior community, assisted living, or other kind of elder-focused living group. Romance blossoms there, as spontaneously and intensely as anywhere else. Our bodies may age, but our emotions are ageless.

Put a group of men and women together in the same place, and over time, attractions will form, relationships will grow and romance may thrive. And how do their adult children react to this? Sometimes, they are supportive and even pleased that Granny has found a new man. She won’t be lonely anymore. But not surprisingly, there is often outright resistance to elder romance in senior communities, coming from the kids.

They’re worried about one thing: their potential inheritance. Demands that the elders stop, interference, and other punitive actions are brought on by the adult children. Do they have a right to stop Granny from consorting with her new guy? Probably not. Unless Granny is mentally incompetent and someone is taking advantage of her impaired mind, she has the legal right to keep company with anyone she pleases. After all, this is a free country, even in a retirement community or a nursing home.

The legal issue is an interesting one. Elders do decline with age, and sometimes mental capacity to give consent to anything, particularly romance, is not entirely clear. However, despite elder care facilities’ focus on “elder rights” no bill of resident rights posted on the wall is likely to say “you have the right to be romantic if you feel like it, provided you can find a willing partner”. Assuming two competent and consenting elders choose to have a romance, should anyone stop them?

When I was a young nurse’s aide in a nursing home, I remember wheeling an elderly lady to the dining room for lunch my first day on the job. “No, not there!” she insisted, as I tried to put her at an empty table. She showed me just where she had to sit, at a different table. The reason became clear a moment later. Her guy, also in a wheelchair, was wheeled over next to her, and the two proceeded to hold hands.

“There’s no one I’d rather sit next to than you,” he said loudly, as he was hard of hearing. She responded, flirting, and demurely returned the comment. She was hard of hearing, too, so their conversation was overheard by everyone nearby. The flirtation continued every day. He told her she was so good looking. I thought it was a crack-up, and also very sweet. They each had someone to look forward to seeing at mealtime and their lives were a little brighter. Elder romance? Why not?

Tiny URL for this post:
 

Please Share
JUST RELEASED “The Family Guide To Aging Parents”
Stack Of CashCheck out our latest website: AgingInvestor.com click HERE to learn more
FREE Report: “One Critical Step You Must Take To Avoid Your Aging Parents Debts”
CLICK on the image Below
Testimonials by our readers
"Thank you for the article on the "grey area". It validated what I am currently going through with my Mother. It is so painful for me to go back and forth with her behavior. I just don't know what to do about the estranged sister who has exploited well over $50K of my mother's savings and my Mothers admitted " lack of "will power" to say no to her." Robert ________________________________ "I do want to thank you for the Webinar you offered. It helped me a great deal as I was facing the need to lead our family in finding a safe living situation for our mother. That information and the other information you offered as downloads gave me much needed guidance when I was feeling tremendous anxiety and uncertainty." Betty
FREE Report: 10 Warning Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Help With Money
Get Quick Tips – Newsletter FREE…. Just CLICK Below
Categories
Archives
  • Could This Happen To Your Aging Parent: Getting Dumped From a Nursing Home? November 7, 2017
    If you have an aging loved one who ever has to go to a nursing home, beware of a nasty practice in which some of these facilities engage. It is disgusting to think that a nursing home will not only…Read more ›
    Mikol Davis
  • Natural Disasters and Aging Parents October 12, 2017
    Natural Disasters and Aging Parents Hurricanes, flooding, wildfires, and earthquakes have all struck families this year. Sometimes your aging parent or other loved one is displaced and adult children must suddenly take them in. If your family member was in…Read more ›
    Mikol Davis
  • What To Do When Medicare Screws Up Your Aging Parent’s Bill August 21, 2017
    Most of our aging parents receive Medicare, which is supposed to pay “covered medical costs”. And for the most part, it does. But then there are the mistakes. Are your aging parents helpless when Medicare refuses to pay for something that…Read more ›
    Mikol Davis
  • Nip A Predator’s Scheme In The Bud — Stop Your Aging Parent From Becoming Prey July 12, 2017
    Rhonda is a 91-year-old widow and lives independently. She has a few million in investments and has planned well for retirement. Her two sons are busy and leave her to make decisions about her money independently. What Rhonda’s sons didn’t…Read more ›
    Mikol Davis
FREE Report: Mental Wellness Technique For Stress Relief