Newsletter August 2009

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AgingParents.com News Letter August 2009

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Welcome to AgingParents.com’s August newsletter. We had some interesting responses to last month’s issue about the court limiting a person’s right to use her own care workers in an assisted living facility with skilled care available. Thank you for your feedback.


We are giving you a broader set of topics this month. There’s something for caregivers, agency owners, reporting elder abuse, and the family in conflict. We hope you find it useful.

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Sexual Expression In Long Term Care

If grappling with the issue ofsexual expression in long term care hasn’t come up for you yet, it’s likelythat it will. As our population liveslonger, more people are living with infirmities, and more people are in carefacilities over time. Does the desirefor sexual contact disappear as we age? Does it go away when someone goes into a residential care setting?Studies show that it does not.

What does this mean for carefacilities? Whether it is board andcare, assisted living, or skilled nursing, the need for a clear policy about residents’ sexual conduct is essentialto good management. Results of aresearch study on the subject of health care professionals’ attitudes towardsexuality in long term care was presented at the American Geriatrics Society’sscientific meeting in November, 2007.

READ MORE…

How To Report Elder Abuse

Some have called elder abuse the crime of the century. One of the few ways to stop financial elder abuse is to report it. If you suspect that this is happening to someone you care about, it is important to know what to do. Here are the steps you can take to report financial elder abuse. (read more)

Sadly, most abusers are family members. I have heard numerous people tell me that their aging loved one was being taken advantage of by a relative,but that they did not want to make trouble for the relative, so they were not going to get the police involved. This is frustrating for any lawyer to hear. In their minds, abuse is better than one making trouble.

I cant report it, as the names are kept secret from me by these individuals. Most often, they call to confirm their suspicions that a certain action sounds like financial elder abuse. I listen, I tell them it does sound suspicious, and to please call the Elder Abuse Hotline. Then, they do nothing.

Maybe you are one of those who do nothing, or perhaps youre considering reporting this crime, but dont know how to do it. If you think an elder in your life has been or is being abused, I can only urge you to speak up. You need details to make a useful report of financial abuse

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Please See Our Attached Survival Guide

Our tool kit is the complete package of vital documents for any Aging Parent situation.


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Brilliant Idea to Protect Elders’ Money with Home Care Workers


Do you ever worry about caregivers doing shopping for elders with elders’ money? Worker access to cash or credit cards can be a problem. The risk of financial abuse,whether large or small, is always looming for those whose workers handle money.Stanton Lawson, owner of Senior Care Solutions of Petaluma, California, has come up with a brilliant idea to keep elders’ money safe. Read more, or listen to our interview with Stan...

Stan read about financial elder abuse and knew the potential was there for theft by his workers. As an agency owner, he wanted his clients to be protected. He creatively figured out that gift cards could be purchased to cover caregiver purchases, and that he could then monitor the expenditures on the computer, just as you do a credit card purchase. Here’s how it works.

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Avoiding Caregiver Guilt: My Personal Story


We have a tendency to not want to feel guilty. Most of us will do just about anything to not feel guilty. For me, the need to look after my Mom after Dad passed away was very strong. I’m the only son. There is something very basic about the need to look after one’s mother after her husband of 62 years was gone. Oh yes, did I mention that I am a psychologist, with over thirty-five years of dealing with caregivers and their emotional struggles?

My Dad had done so much for my Mom: handled all the accounting, managed the investments, done all things mechanical, opened the jar when she couldn’t and zipped up the zipper on the back of her dress. I didn’t want to feel guilty for not helping. I wanted to do as much as I could.

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