Newsletter May 2009

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Aging Parents Newsletter – May 2009
Hello {!firstname},
It’s Carolyn here with your May edition of the Aging Parents newsletter.
In our consulting practice, we often come across the problem of elders who are losing capacity for decision-making, but are not completely incapacitated. We call this “the grey area” between perfectly normal and impaired.
The frightening thing about having a loved one in “the grey area” is that no one knows for sure just how impaired the elder actually is, and the elder may be getting into danger, particularly around handling money. This is a regular problem in persons who have dementia, whether it has been formally diagnosed or not.
Doctors call it “cognitive decline” or “mild impairment”. It is a tinderbox of problems for families, as loss of capacity gives rise to many of the family conflicts we see. Recent research shows that even those with early Alzheimer’s Disease demonstrate significant problems in handling money, keeping track of bills and doing math.
Families argue among one another that Mom or Dad is “just fine” or that no one should tell the parent what to do, because they have the “right” to decide everything for themselves. Others may argue that the parent can’t remember anything anymore, and how come everyone is in denial. You get the picture. Maybe it’s your picture. How do you know if your elder is too impaired to make money or health decisions?
There are objective ways to find out. These objective ways work better than a 5 minute doctor’s visit, and better than a family member’s untrained and unprofessional opinion. They involve psychological testing. Psychological testing is a special kind of assessment that must be done by a licensed psychologist. Not even an M.D. is trained to do psychological testing, which is very specialized. It goes far beyond the “mini mental status exam”, which can be administered by just about anyone, and is used often by healthcare providers to get a fast read on how oriented a person is to who and where they are.
The weakness of the mini mental status exam is that it takes about 20 minutes to administer, has just 27 questions, and it does not even address the issue of a person’s ability to make decisions. Rather, it is a very cursory look at a person’s short and long term memory. It was never designed solely as a comprehensive diagnostic tool. Its purpose is to get a quick assessment of orientation and memory ability. For licensed psychologists, it is unethical to use a single test to make a diagnosis or to decide, on that alone, if a person is incapacitated or not.

If you want to get a good, thorough idea of how impaired you elder is or isn’t, take following 4 steps:

1. Have your elder visit the regular doctor, and accompany him or her. Mention to the doctor the problems you are noticing with your parent’s memory or cognitive decline. Be specific. You can do this with our without your elder present, depending on your relationship and how you feel about discussing this in front of your parent.

2. Ask for a referral for a competency assessment. The doctor will need to understand why this is necessary. Medicare will pay for a very limited psychological assessment, which may not be sufficient to find out what you need to know. You may have to pay out of pocket for the complete kind of testing.

3. Your elder needs to cooperate with undergoing testing. The testing for capacity at a basic level, at least, will take a minimum of two-three hours, and will also require an interview with your loved one, separate from the testing. These should be done on different days, as your elder may be fine one day and unable to answer questions the next. The testing psychologist needs to see him or her more than once.

4. Take the results of the testing seriously. Psychological testing instruments used to determine capacity have been used and researched by psychologists over time. These instruments, also researched by universities, have been found to be reliable and valid for widespread use.

Full neuropsychological test batteries, used for diagnosing brain injury or getting a very complete picture of mental capacity and cognitive impairment, are available. They take at least a full day to administer. Such a grueling amount of testing may not be necessary to find out if a person has capacity to make financial decisions. Simpler alternatives exist.
However, if a guardianship is going to be requested, a full test battery (series) may be necessary to present in court. Otherwise, we suggest using the simplest method that can be ethically considered complete, for testing capacity for handling money.
What do you do if your elder won’t sit still for testing, or just refuses? Without objective testing, you have to rely on behavior of your elder to signal when it’s time for him or her to yield to others for financial decision-making. If family members are getting concerned, you can be sure there is a problem.
Ask your parent’s doctor for advice. Write a letter to the doctor if necessary, spelling out the specific things that worry you, and seek the doctor’s help to keep your parent out of danger. Loss of capacity for financial decision-making is usually gradual, and can fool people. We think testing, when possible, can remove doubt.
For a detailed discussion about decision-making for dangerous older drivers, see The Boomer’s Guide to Aging Parents: How to Handle a Dangerous Older Driver, and in the same series, How to Handle Money for Aging Loved Ones

What People Are Saying…

“I am always blown away with the way you can cut things to the chase and see what is really going on. It is very hard for me to focus and not get caught up in all the details and miss seeing the clear picture.” -Mary C. (Recent Client)
“My 80 year old mother has early stage Alzheimer’s Disease, yet STILL has very clear ideas of her own! What a pleasure to work with caring professionals willing to make the effort to really listen to her, to her concerns and wishes – as well as advising me in my role as caretaker, healthcare proxy and power of attorney. With the huge workload and responsibilities of care-taking, (plus pressures from both immediate and extended family,) I can’t imagine how we’d manage without the ongoing support and guidance my mother and I receive from Ms. Rosenblatt and Dr. Davis. Thank you, both.” -Suzanne C. (Recent Client)
I talked to seven different lawyers in trying to figure out what kind of help to get for my father. No one seemed to be able to really tell me what I needed. Carolyn, you were the most practical of anyone. You were amazingly helpful.” -Jane H., MD
For more free advice on aging parents visit us at

About Us is a consulting, educational and dispute resolution service. We focus on the families of aging parents and other relatives, to assist them with the effort to keep their loved ones safe, to address the concerns of caregivers, and to enhance the quality of life for elders.


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"Thank you for the article on the "grey area". It validated what I am currently going through with my Mother. It is so painful for me to go back and forth with her behavior. I just don't know what to do about the estranged sister who has exploited well over $50K of my mother's savings and my Mothers admitted " lack of "will power" to say no to her." Robert ________________________________ "I do want to thank you for the Webinar you offered. It helped me a great deal as I was facing the need to lead our family in finding a safe living situation for our mother. That information and the other information you offered as downloads gave me much needed guidance when I was feeling tremendous anxiety and uncertainty." Betty
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